In this fictional chat you shadow a listener called Morinda taking a general request. After the chat gets going, Morinda allows you to choose what to say to the member. The correct choice every time is the empathic one—the one where you try to reflect what the member feels. Any other choice is wrong.
You start the chat with 5 stars, but every time you choose wrongly you lose a star. If you lose all 5 stars the chat will end immediately.
- 3I This general request indicates that the member wants to talk about college life.
- 2I We start with a welcome, as usual. Remember to press the Send button to send your message.
- 2L Welcome to 7 Cups :)
- 0L I’m Morinda, one of the listeners here.
- 0I And show that we noticed what the member wants to talk about.
- 0L You’re finding college life difficult?
- 2I Now be patient.
- 6M Hey
- 0I Respond immediately.
- 0L Hey :)
- 0I And try an open question to get things started.
- 0L What’s been happening?
- 8M Its just no use. Everythings going wrong again.
- 0I Now you get to choose how to respond. Try to reflect what the member feels.
- 0Q
- 30 Sounds like you’re finding college difficult just at the moment. Would you like to tell me more about what difficulties you are experiencing? Believe me, we’ve all been through what you’re going through. You’re not alone.
- 29 Let’s identify exactly what’s going wrong for you. Then we can work on some options that will allow you to solve those problems that you’re facing.
- 0 You feel like giving up, because all the things that went wrong before are going wrong again.
- 8M Yeah
- 0M Ive given up already tbh
- 0M I cut again last niught after more than two years clean
- 0Q Try to reflect what that feels like.
- 25 I am so proud of you for coming to 7 Cups to get help. We are here to save lives, and we can support you to get clean again no matter how long it takes.
- 0 Like you failed and threw away those two years when you didn’t cut.
- 33 Two years clean was great! Well done!
- 1M Yeah I failed
- 0I Let’s wait and see if there’s any more information.
- 6Q Nope, so try an open question.
- 0 What happened?
- 27 Are you being fair to yourself thinking you’ve failed because of just one lapse?
- 31 Did you cut deep last night?
- 6M Long story, I dont know if I want to get into all that
- 0I Long stories are OK.
- 0Q But try to get at the feeling behind saying that.
- 27 OK, let’s talk about how you can start to feel more positive.
- 31 Your privacy is important to us all at 7 Cups. We will never pressure you to tell us things you don’t want to reveal.
- 0 You have a feeling of not wanting to go there.
- 1M Yeah
- 1M I dont want to go there because it hurts so bad and Ill probably cry some more
- 0Q Try to reflect the feeling.
- 0 You’re very close to tears again. Remembering the hurt might bring more tears.
- 26 It’s important not to start crying again because you are at risk of further self harm.
- 26 It’s important to cry whenever there are things you need to cry about.
- 1M I dont know
- 1M This is so stupid crying over a fckng guy
- 0I Looks like we’re going to go there anyway.
- 0Q Try to reflect the feeling.
- 32 Oh no, it was a guy did this to you. I’m so sorry. What did this guy do to hurt you so badly?
- 0 Part of you feels he’s not worth crying about, and another part of you feels really hurt.
- 26 Never think of yourself as stupid! Always believe in your feelings when you have relationship problems like this.
- 2M It wasnt really him I suppose
- 0M I never thought my best friend would do this to me
- 0I Now there’s a best friend in the picture!
- 0Q But as always, try to reflect the feeling.
- 32 Your ex-best friend now, I guess!!!
- 36 Your best friend! But think about all the good times you’ve had together.
- 0 Your feeling is that your best friend betrayed your trust.
- 1M Yeah betrayed
- 0M Exactly
- 0M I could literally fckng kll her right now
- 0Q Try to reflect the feeling.
- 31 If you talk about harming another person I cannot continue to chat to you. The rules at 7 Cups require me to refer you to an appropriate agency.
- 0 You’re so very angry.
- 26 I’m sure you’ll feel differently about her in a day or two. You’ll be able to talk things over with her, and your friendship will be stronger for it.
- 8M Yeah Im really angry
- 0M I havent been this angry in a long while
- 0I A therapist might ask whether that past anger was also caused by betrayal, listeners must not play at therapy.
- 1Q Instead, try to reflect the feeling.
- 30 Like this anger you feel now is a recurring problem in your life that you haven’t been able to solve.
- 0 Like this anger you feel now is a reminder of the anger you felt back then.
- 33 Like this anger you feel now is a healthy anger.
- 2M A reminder yeah
- 2M Things are really very different now
- 1Q Try to reflect the feeling.
- 0 A reminder like this anger you feel makes you realize how much things have changed.
- 26 We all move on in life by striving to do better and by asking for help when we meet obstacles.
- 33 People never really change, do they?
- 0M Yeah
- 3M Thank you for talking to me.
- 0I Time to wrap it up.
- 0L We can talk some more another time, if you like. Just come back here and send me a message.
- 1M Yes Id like that
- 0L OK, goodbye for now.
- 1M Goodbye and thank you again.
People often have difficulty processing strong feelings like anger. They might try a variety of strategies.
One strategy, for example, is self harm—cutting, maybe. It doesn’t work very well.
Another strategy is talking to someone like a listener at 7 Cups. This can work well if the listener concentrates on the member’s feelings, and doesn’t get distracted by other agendas like giving advice or solving problems.